Category: Uncategorized

The Continuation of Seminary-The Real Work Begins

One of the surest signs of being in one place for a while, is getting a puppy to guard livestock and keep you company: “Jed” is here.

He is a graduation gift from one of my best high school friends, Patsy. Jed is becoming a familiar thing to trip over here in the barn where he and I live.

I still maybe headed back to the PCT, but not until I get to know this young puppy and the “old theologian”,Rudolf Bultmann: hopefully before the puppy digests him.

 

The other project, grandchildren. In this culture and time of earth what is it we can do that will help them? I’m of the conviction my heroic effort at life would be to absorb all the ignorance and misplaced ambition I can and turn it into simple fertilizer for the little people.

Adding to the organic matter of the planet for these little guys, is a simple task in line with Divine Evolution as far as I can trace it: anything else is man made projection and as nobel as it may be, pales when faced with the  present mystery of creation, life and death.

Nothing of Grace contradicts creation and vice versa. Like my good priestess friend reminded me of our “vocation professor’s” saying, “it matters not what you are doing as vocation, as long as it’s yours and not someone else’s”.

We either release this innate spark(M. Eckhardt) we came with through art in whatever form manifests in us, or we continue down the well marked trail of neurosis and its many cultural reliefs. It’s not a question of teaching morality to these, they came with it–it’s damned well letting them be reminded how they were Created before someone told them how they should be. 

Can you remember back before you were “shoulded”?

For their sakes, I’ll come into owning my stuff(shadow-real).

Jed and Jace, they came this way..

 I met today with a wonderful person I’m happily to be kin to: we talked genealogy and story that we share in common,she has been working on this project for years now. I’m amazed every time we review our roots and heritage, I lean more than I could ever imagine.

The more we look the more we are all the same-to me this is grace and a place of rest in the generations-and yea, I get it- there is painful crap too.

The garden below is sandy loan not far from where our great grandparents farmed. We have the same soil as they had, and after today I’m ok with returning to it.

Moral of story-talk to someone your kin to and sit: if you can find some dirt that reminds you of your childhood-for God sake take your shoes off and see what is.

 

  If possible get your maps for the journey from reputable source, someone who actually goes into the thickest of thickets.
Usually you can tell the best map makers by the amount of scratches they got in finding the best path. Get some scratches, I tell myself, or don’t expect to lead into the thicket.

  

  Some say I should move to town and visit the farm as needed, but I could step out the 1974 Airstream and pee at sunrise?
I suppose the true Friar would do both, town and farm: though,I could get confused at sunrise as to where I was,town or dale,and not be seen as charitable. 

Life is full of practice.

   This night we trim the trees for a new plot of sweet potatoes. Strange to see how far we have removed ourselves from the soil-good to feel it hold you as you ask it to do what it does. Food.

A good staple dish for the trail, if you are able to boil and simmer, is the combination of red lentils and red quinoa. These two compliment each other in taste and they can be eaten day in and day out with fairly good levels of carbs, protein, and fiber.  Little seasoning is needed, usually salt-pepper-garlic flakes will round this dish up to being a favorite in 15 minutes or less of cooking time.

When picking a hiking partner use the same receipt as above-go with someone that has about the same cooking time as you and doesn’t need lots of special attention to a ‘staple”.

Most animals if they are hurt will go to a den or a covered place, there they don’t have to expend a lot of effort while healing. If they sense they are safe their wounds will naturally heal faster than if alone. The community I am part of in Austin, Texas is a safe place to heal. My part is to show up best I’m able at the time, do my best to be present-the rest is innate to the tradition.

 

I recently audited a writing class lead by a professor^[1] that emphasized the idea of writing one’s truth when using words as metaphor to convey life: this class like the SSW(Seminary of The Southwest) community relieves one of having to be “on guard” or expending energy in protecting your tender parts-it’s a more spacious environment than the alternative, pretense and illusion. Living in an environment with people more interested in being true, vulnerable and gracious toward Life, it’s hard not to be moved toward being whole, healed.

 

I came to this school to learn how to communicate the passion I have for dirt, roots, rocks, thin air, germination, uncharted trails, and animal screams. I love to be in uninterrupted distance…to be justly small and full of awe, but solitude needs community to call one on his or her shit, ego. It takes authentic people living in real time and space encountering pain and joy without denial of either, to heal other people-to call them out of themselves into a Self. I have experienced healing here, without being smothered with the directions or fantasy of others. It is true what my first advisor^[2] said, “Well, it seems you will need to learn a new vocabulary for this desire you have”. I couldn’t agree more, so on it goes-the gathering of truth.

 

It’s a mystery to me, but if you want to go to the edge of a wilderness, physical or internal, it is imperative you be in a community available for the truth to move, and open to what may show up in the Un-Calculated.^[3] Nature seems to love diversity and play, “divine grab-ass”(watch animals at play), I need some healing……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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^[1] Thanks to Dr. Claire Colombo and the creative students of F2015, Writing as Ministry.

^[2] Dr. Steve Bishop, Spring Semester 2013.

^[3] If I come to any insight about solitude and community, it is because of Henri Nouwen.

“Death destroys a man but the idea of death saves him.”

E. M. Forster

Zaleski, Philip; Kaufman, Paul (2009-04-25). Gifts of the Spirit (Kindle Location 421). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

 

EASE?

The deadliest of sins for me is ease. Things go my way for a long time, or even a day, I think-“I got it, this is life”. Why this way? Why is ease better that “not ease”?

Men and women through out time have fled ease, because it lacked substance, it built a deadly ego, “a sure thing”.

Giving up my auto for a day, skimping on food, un-plug all my electric stuff, I know I’m off trail when I can’t sit for hand-journaling in the morning until I check my phone charge. Digital suck.

Sure cure for ease? Go to Leadville, Colorado and enter a burrow race.  The lessons learned from a burrow are light years beyond a prosperity message, or a self-enrichment seminar.

As a veterinarian for some years, I’ve noticed most animals will run out of an enclosed area if given a chance. The psalmist uses the metaphor-like calves released form the stall. As a creatures that shares this planet, I find it helpful if I go outside my enclosure every 30 minutes-breath deeply about 10 times , walk for 5 minutes and go back in. Try it, you may find it freeing: use it in the Pomodor Technique.

This past summer while attending the Ira Progoff school of Intensive Journaling, it took me all week to come to a mantra or a distilling of my time there into one saying. It was a deep rumbling I couldn’t get into words until I finally did enough time in writing and walking , writing and walking. The mantra, “Open the gate, I’m going outside”, expresses a work still to be discovered in the senior part of my life. To get to this place that meant something- a habit, a discipline, of exposure to the outside is necessary for me, and then a return to the work at hand, writing my walk.

Open the gate, I’m going out, may be freedom for your work and walk.

“Each existence is engaged in finding the way of life and of being that will be true to its own nature.” (AJW, p 34) ,

http://www.intensivejournal.org/general/aboutWorkshops.php